Sliding in sideways...

...and back out again. Seven minutes to take a shower and then drive 60 miles for the final game in a three-day soccer tournament...and we've won every match so far. There is no joy like that of happy kids...

It's a post.

Just in Case

Very freaking tired and not at all looking forward to 11 hours on planes tomorrow, but still thinking of you, kids - and of NaBloPoMo, of course.

So here is a "just in case CG1 doesn't have a chance to get to a computer today" post.

I know it's practically cheating, as far as NaBloPoMo goes, but, hey, it's something, right?

L8R, Doods.

I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles

* Robert Pattinson and I did not sleep together in London. I know...I can see it in your eyes (web cam) you're as disappointed as I am.

* I am not, in fact, taking any photos on this trip. Sorry, CG1. It just isn't a tourist picture kind of trip. I'm just not feelin' it.

* I have never been as soaked-through wet - shoes, socks, pants, coat, sweater...all of it - as I was this afternoon. NOW I understand the power of a "cuppa tea."

* My inner punk has never forgiven my outer responsible adult for getting rid of my black Violent Femmes concert t-shirt. I remedied that today: Bought a really cool old-school Sex Pistols t-shirt. The punk, she is happy. (1)

* Came this [ ] close to buying the Doc Martens I've always wanted...and still might do it.

* Our cab driver tonight was - had to be - a direct descendant of Eliza Doolittle.
Before 'enry 'iggins ruined her.

* Said cab driver actually asked me, "Is everyone in Alabama like you?"
And then refused to take more than £10 on a £12 meter.

* Billy Elliot in four words: Coal Miners in Tutus. Good stuff.

* Met my long-time, online friend, Pauline, for the first time today and she is a HOOT. Also, she took good care of me. It's easy to be a stranger in a strange land when you have a guardian angel leading you around by the hand.

* I have been christened a West Ham supporter. Don't worry if you don't know what that means. It does not mean I prefer HoneyBaked to Heavenly. And if you do know what that means, no, the christening did not involve bubbles, blood, urine or Stella.

Jetlagger Out.

(1) PS - Pauline knows all the lyrics to Anarchy in the UK. How random is that and how perfectly suited are we?!

If we're lucky...

...we'll get a London post later today.

Meet Me in London

Unless he flies out tonight, Robert Pattinson and I will both be in London tomorrow.

Roughly translated: I will be in London with Robert Pattinson tomorrow.

Implication: Robert Pattinson and I will both, at some point, sleep in London tomorrow.

How it sounds in my head: I'll be sleeping with Rob in London on Friday.

Yeah, I like the sound of that....

Guten Haben!

Actually, I'm in suburban London now...Oy, what a day!

So here is what I learned in Frankfurt:

1. Germans, generally speaking, are INSANELY tall. Every time I, wearing 3 inch heels, stood beside a towering Teutonic goddess, I felt silently mocked.

2. I LOVE GOOSE! Who'da thunk it? At the previously mentioned biergarten I celebrated St. Martin's Day (a few hours early) with apfelwein and goose. Amazing.

3. Apple wine (apfelwein) will sneak up on you, jump you and then soundly kick your ass.

4. German Thai Curry is...yeah, it's just gross. As gross as it sounds...I want to be nice...but can't.

5. Forget the stereotype - German business people can be really cool and a lot of fun. And when you spontaneously hug them...even though you just met them...at the end of a really long day...without thinking...they will not, actually, throw you in ze kooler.

6. Toilets in Germany - whether in your hotel room, an office building or in a public place - come equipped with scrub brushes. Like you use at home. If you make a mess? You, by God, are expected to clean it up. Can we impose this by LAW in the U.S.? Please? With the death penalty and everything?

7. IT geeks are IT geeks the world 'round and Ich Liebe them all.

8. Three-inch heels + quaint cobblestone streets = Disaster. And you end up walking three blocks, in the rain, barefoot, while homeless people look at you with pity in their eyes.
:: der sigh ::

9. Like Jen said about a month ago: Ausfahrt (exit) and Einfahrt (no entry) are, indeed, the funniest damn words in the German language.

10. Stumbling across a Starbucks, on the most random corner, in an unfamiliar city is a gift from the heavens (image). Is there a patron saint of comfortable, familiar, soy triple lattes? No? There should be.

11. I also learned about our customer, the industry, blah, blah, blah. But that stuff doesn't hold a candle to Ausfahrt or the homeless guy feeling sorry for me.

**Time Lapse **

Note to the guys currently hanging out in the lobby at the Holiday Inn in Woking.

Jesus Bulgari-Bathing Christ. How much cologne do you need to wear? SERIOUSLY. Are you on your way to a f*cking competition? The How Far Away Can You Smell Me Friggin' Cup? Because I'm pretty sure their goalkeeper just plopped down beside me and their entire freaking FAN CLUB is at the bar. Holy. Shit. I'm not joking: My eyes are watering.